One of my overall appreciations of my time of depression has been the awareness that the Lord has been in the situation. I want to relate one particular awareness of that.
One morning I met a dear friend who, I felt did not appreciate my situation, was not listening to me and had an agenda for me. It was quite distressing given I was very much in the midst of feeling messed up and broken. Later that morning, though, I was in the house of another friend and upon leaving happened to go to the toilet. On the wall of the toilet was the scripture:
For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,’ declares the Lord, ‘and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.’ (Jer 29:11-14)
I don’t remember fully how much of the scripture was quoted, but it was the opening part which gave me such encouragement. Others may have plans for me, but the Lord has His plans. Even in my distress, pain and perplexity He was there that day (and I am encouraged is continually with me).
This Scripture was on the wall of a church I attended in Scotland a few weeks later. Again much encouragement came to me through this because it was at a time when I was experiencing further pain.
Similarly, this video was sent through to my wife and on the evening of January 23rd I saw it. Simply, I felt it was powerfully meaningful. The words “You raise me up” I took as a promise from my Father in heaven. My life was flickering at that time, but He would raise me up was such an encouragement.
In all this I felt the tender grace of my Father leading me and guiding me through this time. I may feel I am falling apart, but He is there.