I wrote of this yesterday here. The whole experience is quite humbling particularly as I was celebrating good anti-depressant free progress here. I had also spoken to quite a few people about my improved condition. I don’t regret the change of diet and believe it has done me much good including helping me shed some weight. However, it has not been the cure-all that I desired and even mused upon in my post.
The returning to Sertraline has also been a significant disappointment. I think it is the normal aspiration for all on anti-depressants to be off them. For myself I was optimistic about being able to move on without them. Alas that has not transpired. As things got difficult at the end of December, I tried to carry on without, but wisdom (and my wife’s good counsel) prevailed and I have taken them again.
One of the sobering outcomes of me going on medication again, is that I feel I am now on them for the rest of my life. You may say that that sounds somewhat melodramatic. In a sense it is, but there were dark times particularly over the Christmas period. I just don’t want those again. You see the medication is for me a safety-net. It protects from the mental free-fall into places you would rather not go.
So possibly I have to come to terms with being a man-on-pills for the rest of my life. Perhaps I speak too hastily. My Father knows best.