I Have been pondering upon this scripture from 1 Kings 1:5-6) and its implications for parenting:
Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, ‘I will be king.’ So he got chariots and horses ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him. (His father had never rebuked him by asking, ‘Why do you behave as you do?’ He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)
Adonijah was a son who had been allowed free reign by his father, David. David had never challenged him as regards to his behaviour; he had not got involved in his life. This leads me to have the following observations regarding parenting generally and my parenting in particular:
- I need to get involved in the lives of my children. To leave them to their own devices is not an approach I can entertain. To leave them to their own devices can seriously prejudice their development.
- I need to question my children about their bevaiour. This becomes particularly important when they are moving into and on in their teenage years and beyond. When this stage is reached you realize they are no longer those little children you can control through teh imposition of your will.
- The word for “rebuke” has the idea of “grieve”. It is as if David never wanted to upset Adonoijah. He did not want to hurt Adonijah’s feelings by questioning him about his behaviour. This is a trap that is so easy to fall into. For an easy life and, dare I say, to retain popularity with your children you fail to question what they are doing.
- The outcome of Adonijah being left to his own ways was that he developed into a proud young man. The words that he ‘put himself forward And said “I will be King”‘ reveal a man who wanted to see himself exalted. The reminds me of how it is not a matter of indifference whether or not I intervene in the lives of my children. If I fail to get involved I am most likely going to negatively impact their character development.