An issue arose recently. I had pondered upon how to respond to this matter and reached a conclusion which I thought was reasonable. I then mentioned the matter to May Lin who went on to suggest an alternative way forward. This led me to re-consider my approach.
Sometime later I found myself musing upon what might be the outcome of the approach that had been adopted. If it all turned out badly then I had it in mind that I would tell May Lin that it was her fault for suggesting the alternative strategy.
Whereupon, I thought that is an outrageous approach. “You, Philip have to take responsibility for the decision. Are you some kind of wimp or something? You have the benefit of drawing upon the wisdom of your wife, but it is you who has to decide whether or not to accept what your wife says. It is you who made the decision.”
Which all takes me back to the garden of Eden. What did Adam do when challenged about how he had failed to lead in the ways of godliness. The man said, ‘The woman you put here with me – she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.’ (Gen.3:12). He blames his wife for causing the problem. And, to boot, he blames God for giving him such a wife.
So where does all this leaves us. It reminds me that I have to take responsibility and lead my wife. She is my best counselor with lots of wisdom. However, if I decide to accept her wisdom then I have to know that was my call. It is me who as the husband has to take responsibility for the decisions reached in the marriage.
(Originally published at Venabling on 29th July 2013)