Looking back at our own wedding all those eighteen or so years ago one thing I regret is having a “Presents List”. Recently, we got a wedding invitation which simply mentions about giving money and any present if you wish, I found I helpful, without being unseemly.
Two reasons for not having a presents list would be:
- It was so demanding – even stressful – seeking to make sure all saw it who wanted. This is now mitigated against to a large extent by the advent of appropriate use of the internet. However, you do still have to make sure everything is set up properly.
- There is an underlying impudence about them. Is it really right to be asking for things? I know it has benefits, in that people know what to get and so that things are not duplicated. But there is a little uneasiness in my heart about the whole principle.
Of recent times people have also moved toward having lists linked into certain stores and you go and get something at that store. This again no doubt can assist in getting presents, but so often everything just seems so prescribed. What I mean is “this is what we want; so please get it.”
So my thought is for anyone getting married. Do not have any presents lists. You will save yourself hassle. People can choose to bless you with money or a present. And get on with life.
And by the way the Chinese system of simply giving gold or money has a lot to recommend it.