I found this article which challenges the myth that putting infants in child care is a boon to their socialization skills. So here are some further observations:
- For people to be able to operate in a wholesome way in this world, they need to know how to socialise. When I say socialise, I am speaking about interacting with others in a civilized, respectful and generally healthy way. Individuals vary, but to hold down a decent job and function in a variety of different arenas you need to know how to socialize.
- This being the case the dogma has infiltrated people’s minds that in bringing up children, they need to focus upon placing their children in an environment where they learn to socialize. Now I am not saying that children should be withdrawn from all contact with others. But I am saying that we have concentrated on the wrong “S” word. The “S” word we should have concentrated upon is not “socialization”, but rather “security”.
- Children who are secure will socialize well. In fact, adults who are secure socialize well. What we should be concentrating on is giving our babies, our infants, our children a secure environment. This secure environment is provided for the child through being with their parents, and knowing that they love and care for them.
- Putting babies into childcare is doing nothing to help with socialization. What a baby and infant needs is security. They need to be with their mother. Putting very young ones with child care workers, who are looking after children as a job along with a bunch of other self-centred youngsters does nothing to enhance the “security” of the child.
- So with this security in place, the child will develop into a youth and adult that will socialize well. On the contrary, if a youngster is insecure, they will fail to socialize well as a youth and as an adult.
- Accordingly, the whole childcare system, rather than producing a golden generation of youth and adults who socialize well, is actually producing dysfunctional self-seeking individuals who are not able to respectfully interact with others in a healthy way.
- What a baby and infant need is security not socialization. In fact, when we focus on socialization, we have completely lost the plot. Oh mothers out there, my plea to you is think of your little one. Your baby/infant needs you.
- You may have to sacrifice to give your child that security. But you will know much joy. And you will see your child grow into a well-rounded individual who will socialize well.
So ditch the socialization “S” word and celebrate the security “S” and see what joys and benefits will ensue.
If you focus on socialization then your children are likely not to socialize very well. If you focus on security then your children are likely to socialize very well.